


Light 'Em Up

by Penny_Bunce



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 22:31:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6629626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penny_Bunce/pseuds/Penny_Bunce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon is still getting over the loss of his magic. Baz just wants to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light 'Em Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably shit, so whoops. Also, had to sneak in that FOB title, ya know?
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: Dear god why. I really hate my old fics, and I'd like to think my writing has improved immensely since writing this. ALSO TRIGGER WARNING!!! Attempted suicide. Okay, carry on.(Ba dum tssss)

He'd lost his magic. Simon had already accepted this fact. But when no one was watching he just wanted to try. To see if maybe there's a little bit of what once was there. So whenever the trash needed to be taken out, he'd try  **into thin air**. It never worked. And since he'd developed a liking for scented candles, specifically the pastry smelling ones, he'd use  **make a wish**. Of course he'd always need to bring along a lighter, but trying could never hurt. Right? So try he did, at every given opportunity. Well, every opportunity when he was alone. He didn't want Penny or Baz to think that he was sad without his magic. He  _was_ a little sad , but didn't want to worry them. At this particular time , he was having trouble finding his keys

" **Scooby-Dooby-Doo where are you** "

As you can imagine, he didn't find his keys. He huffed a breath in annoyance and raked back his hair. That's when he heard someone clear their throat. He froze, and turned around slowly, to see his boyfriend looking a bit sadly at him. Simon decided to just try and play it off. "Hey babe, have you seen my keys? I'm supposed to meet Penny soon at a diner and--"      

"Snow" Baz cut him off, knowing that Simon knew what he wanted.

"And I really need to get there on time because I was late last time." Simon finished, not acknowledging that Baz had interrupted him.

"Simon." Baz said softly .  _Simon? He must be really serious_  Simon stopped talking and motioned for Baz to continuing speaking.

"You're trying to use magic again?" Baz asked though it wasn't really a question , more of a statement. Simon stared at him for a moment.

"So? I might be. Doesn't change much, does in now?" He laughed, though it was tinged with bitterness. Baz took a step towards him.

"Love, I'm sorry. I'm know this is really hard--" he began.

"Hard? I don't even care! It doesn't bother me anymore so don't worry about. Now, I need to find my keys." Simon snapped.

"Simon , your keys and Penny will wait. This is important and I'd appreciate it if you'd talk to me." Baz put a hand on his hip. Simon crossed his arms.

"What's there to talk about. I don't have magic , and you and Penny do. I could hardly even use it when I  _did_ have it. Okay? Now I've got to go, Baz." He said , trying to walk past his now equally annoyed , yet very concerned boyfriend. Baz grabbed him by the arm. 

"Are you... are you jealous of our magic, Simon? Because I can stop using magic around you if it bothers you, and we can talk to Penny." Baz asked softly, still holding on to Simons bicep.

"No. No! Baz, you don't need to do that, I'm not jealous." Simon said.

"But you miss it?" Baz proceeded to ask.

"Of course I miss it! It was magic for fucks sake. Hell, if I had it I could do a lot. But I'm okay without it."

"Then why are you trying spells if you know they don't work." Baz wondered.

"I- it was only one." Simon lied.

"Snow, you literally live with Penny. Do you think she doesn't hear you?" Baz asked skeptically.

"Because I want to think I have it. To think that there's a chance it could come back. Like if I yelled  **up, up, and away** I could make that chair fucking levitate." Simon said after a moment, pointing at a nearby recliner.

" **Up, up and away**." He yelled at the chair, voice becoming a bit shaky, worrying Baz. He kept trying and trying until he was nearly screaming. And Baz wasn't sure if he imagined it or if he really did see the chair shake slightly while he tried to calm his boyfriend down.

"Simon, Simon stop it. Calm down, love"

Simon shook his head stepping back. By now he had tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He'd stopped yelling for now.

"I ... I have to keep trying , Baz. I do.."

he said, his voice cracking mid sentence. It broke Baz's heart to see him so upset, and he was glad that it only happened on rare occasions. Baz tried once again to near Simon, only having him take another step backwards. Baz really didn't want to use magic on Simon, knowing he'd be upset later, but it would've been so easy to use  **hush little baby ~~~~**, call Penny and tell her Simon was staying home , and just cuddle with him. But while he was thinking, Simon was back at it again trying spells.

"-- **tyger burning bright**." Simon was crying at this point. Baz knew this spell, as it was the same one that had sent his mother up in flames all these years ago.

"Simon , stop! You might hurt yourself!" Baz yelled.

"I don't have magic! And even if I did, who the fuck cares. I've hurt other people before. I even killed someone Baz! I killed someone!"

Baz was torn, and had forgotton about using a spell on Simon. He just wanted him to stop using  _that_ spell.

"Well.. well what if you hurt  _me_?" Baz tried to reason as his boyfriend continued to scream the spell, now a crying mess." I'm a vampire Simon, I'm flamible. If it works, were both gone."

"But it n-never does! It doesn't work! Never!!" Simon cried. Baz pulled Simon tightly to him, humming as Simon cried but stopped yelling. And once Simon had calmed down, Baz held him at shoulders length, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Are you okay now, love?" He whispered.

Simons reply was  what killed him the most.

 

 

 

" **Tyger, tyger, burning bright**."

Simon whispered back once more. And that was all it took before they both went up in hot flames.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry :/ 
> 
> (also, "Simons reply was what killed him the most" ayyyyy get it? Oh and the title.)
> 
> Once again, my apologies :/
> 
>  
> 
> Edit: BAHAHAHA I FORGOT ABOUT THIS PART, NICE ONE PAST ME


End file.
